Scripture tells us God is Love and God loves us. Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as our self and also to love our enemies. And, we seek to be like Jesus and emulate his love for all. As a congregation we put Love First. So why are we embracing being “trauma responsive?” Why make this a commitment for how to relate to others? After all, there are much less intimidating phrases that are more likely to evoke empathy, care, and concern to being loving toward others. There are phrases like, “healing the wounded” and “caring for the suffering.” Again, why stick with “trauma?” That term may frighten or confuse us. Who even wants to focus on trauma when for some it can creates negative associations.
These very concerns were expressed and explored two years ago when those serving on TRC committees met collectively to decide if we need to re-name the initiative to “get more of the congregation on board.” We chose to remain a Trauma Responsive Church because being trauma responsive extends loving beyond caring for those who are actively in pain and hurting.
It is relatively easy to be concerned for, that is to love, others who are grieving, oppressed, or struggling with health, family or financial challenges. It is not so easy to be concerned for others who may be angry, disruptive, distant, estranged, or hostile (love your enemies). It can be even more challenging to express love as God loves us, with no strings attached, with no quid pro quo. This is where being “trauma responsive” makes a difference, where it creates a path to love as Jesus loved.
Science has revealed that trauma, especially in childhood, but also at any time in life, can have lasting injury to relationships. It affects love of self, “there is something unlovable about me” and love of others “people hurt you and cannot be trusted.” When life is hard, we can become hardened. These beliefs and habits become hidden as we develop “emotional scar tissue” to protect us from the pain of constant conscious awareness of “I am unlovable” and “I cannot get close to others.” Intimacy with self and others becomes walled off without even realizing it happened.
As a congregation, being trauma responsive is striving to understand the range of this injury to relationships; to recognize the expression of this injury within relationships; to break free of misunderstandings and judgement about other’s actions in order to be in a healing, loving relationship without strings attached (“father forgive them, they know not what they do”), and to mindfully attend to our words and actions in order to not rekindle the past injury within relationships.
We go a long way as a congregation to bring God kingdom on earth by loving and helping to heal those who are actively suffering. We complete the journey to be in loving relationship with others when we become fully trauma responsive. We need to uncover and heal the hidden injury to our self and others that walls off loving as God loves us. We need to be trauma responsive.
